THERE IS NO SHAME IN FAILING… BUT KNOW THAT THE PAIN OF NOT TRYING, FOLLOWING YOUR HEART AND RUNNING FOR IT MAY HAUNT YOU FOREVER //
The fear of letting go is accompanied by much deeper, yet common and universal fears.
It’s accompanied by questions we want answered on the fly to soothe the pain we feel so we can immediately move on.
Questions like //
What if this is the BEST I will ever create?
What if it IS true that I actually did fail?
What will people think?
What does it say about me that I ran for it and landed on my face?
What if I never get to pursue something like this again?
What if I’m actually a loser and have to play small for the rest of my life bc no one likes me?
All of this arose from shutting down Body Brilliance, my former vegan and superfood product company.
I’ve questioned time and again about what to say, or even if I should say anything to our awesome and loyal customers, let alone friends and my Facebook family.
When I originally gave in to the knowing that we could not continue with the company, I swiftly let our constituents know via a very positive email and a quick “we’ll be back.”
But, the question remained “do I share the real story?”
Companies usually don’t.
So, I spun a couple of half truths (they were partially true, and certainly all I could muster at the time) because I was sad, full of shame and had my running shoes laced on tight to race into the next thing – to prove that me? This woman?
This doesn’t matter.
It’s not a failure, it’s a learning experience.
I’m stronger than this.
It’s easy for some to see the above questions and think they are silly.
And sure… they are all governed by fear.
But see, here’s the WHOLE truth.
A year ago this month I had to shut down my BABY.
The very thing that got all of my sweat, blood and tears for a year and a half.
Hand it all over to god.
Send in paperwork to close the LLC.
And give in to a failing system.
I wasn’t in it alone – but that doesn’t matter one iota. There’s no blame to place elsewhere, or on myself.
I ran hard.
I branded and built a superfood product company.
People LOVED it.
Doctors sold it like crazy.
In so many ways – it succeeded.
It helped people feel better.
It inspired hearts.
It lived, breathed and loved.
And even though the systems didn’t work,
the team fell apart,
and ultimately, it “failed”…
I wouldn’t change any of it, even if I could.
It taught me how to feel the emotions of losing something I deeply and fully LOVE.
If taught me to be okay with LOVING something THAT much.
It taught me about my strength, resilience, sensitivity and capacity.
It showed me what I’m made of.
While I’ve never been very good at un-packaged vulnerability…
…I’ve come to realize that the only answer is to tell the TRUTH, to share the story that scares me to share and thus, attempt a deeper connection with you…
…so that we may all rise higher from one fall.
And so I say to you…
Start again. And again. And again.
The joy is in the journey.