Yesterday, I wrote a post about choosing to strip down the rest of the layers I like to hide behind and share the behind-the-scenes-of-my-life as an entrepreneur, athlete and women living a heart based, mission driven life.
When I sat down to write to you this morning, ready for the muse to sit right on down with me, she didn’t. Fancy that.
Most of the time – passion pulses through my veins so fiercely, I can’t move fast enough to express it.
Except most of the time when that was happening, I DIDN’T express it. Not all of it. Not in a way that my soul was demanding.
Over time, and it happens quite quickly, we’re taught to box ourselves in and speak, act and be a certain way. It’s really easy to say “No, no, I’m different. I’m NOT one of them.” But. Most of us completely are.
We’re quite. We’re compliant. We’re nice for the sake of being nice. And we say what other people want to hear.
I recently received news that one of the people I’ve loved most in this lifetime and built some amazing things with (now part of my distant past) is not doing well. He’s not physically ill (well, he may be) but he’s mentally and emotionally at rock bottom, in the deepend of old pain (much older than our time together) and likely, very alone.
When we were together, I told him that there was only one thing that could tear us apart.
When we got together, I attempted to build a foundation for us, a foundation on:
“there’s no truth more painful than even the most mild lies – so always just bring me the truth. i’ll see you sans judgment. “
“we can and will get through anything life throws at you, at us, at me as long as we stand back to back and not sword to sword”
“staying silent is the same thing as lying when it pertains to the other person.”
In the end, lies and disconnection from core truth tore us apart.
I could go into the psychology all day about why he communicated the way he did, but HE is not the point here. He’s not a bad person, he’s amazing actually – genius level in so many ways. He’s trapped by pain and fear.
The point is that EVERY SINGLE situation has two sides to it, and the side we choose to look at, is the way that our lives turn out.
When we see lying as safer than truth telling – lying for whatever reason, whether it is to allow us to continue our addictions, or hide the core of who we are, or attempt to “play it safe” – we are telling ourselves the ultimate lie.
You can, and will, get through ANYTHING telling the truth – the whole truth, and it will be SO much better on the other side because you told the truth.
Staying quiet when you have a:
√ message for the world,
√ a gift to give,
√ something to tell someone you love,
√ an idea that you want to see come to fruition
is YOU screwing YOU.
The energy of the message, the truth builds up, it twists and turns your insides, you will go from feeling like you want to explode with passion and things to say to IMPLODING.
Before the above mentioned relationship was over, I began imploding.
My body broke down into so much physical pain, I could barely sleep.
I couldn’t work out.
I spent every day trying to get back to neutral and feel okay enough to work.
I had a mini-stroke. <<<!!!!!
My truth was to go.
My truth was to get back into healing work.
My truth was to let go of everything I thought I wanted to release into what my soul was actually screaming for.
I spent a lot of time (over a year) shaving and fragmenting and trying to make my truth teeny tiny in order to fit the life I was in, instead of TELLING the truth to create the life of my dreams.
Ultimately, speaking up and telling the truth set me free.
Set my message free.
Set my body free.
Allowed me to become an adventure athlete again.
Allowed me to find more joy than I’ve EVER known – a foundation of joy that’s now unwavering.
Allowed me to build the BEST group of girlfriends, a much deeper spiritual connection, an accountability team, badass business partnerships, new companies and SO much more.
Sit in silence for a few minutes today, ask your higher self / intuition / guidance to tell you the most important truth you NOW need to tell. It could be to someone, it could be to many someone’s, it could be JUST TO YOURSELF.
Just don’t hide anymore, it’s mean to you and it’s selfish for the world.