When you know, you know.
I’m talking the kind of knowing that leaves no question in your mind or heart.
I remember the first time I knew.
I was 14, playing freshman basketball against the toughest team in the league. We were the underdog (so much so that our school had never beat this team in basketball.)
We were tied at the end of the game and went into overtime. When I stepped on to the court for the final 5 minutes, I knew we were going to win. There was absolutely NO other possible outcome, none.
We played our guts out, the clock ran down and with 30 seconds left, they were up by one point. They hit the ball out of bounds under our hoop. I inbounded the ball to a teammate under our basket and she took a HOOK SHOT, it went in and we won the game. (I mean come on, a freshman girl MAKING a hook shot? What are the actual chances of that? VERY slim, at best.) But, I knew. There was NO other option in my heart, mind or soul and the universe conspired.
The second time I knew was the moment I saw Boogie’s face in an online photo.
I went to meet the sweet pup the next morning and brought my intuitive friend along with me. He agreed that this boy was meant to be mine, and I adopted him.
The third time I knew was 52 days ago.
As I drove over the quickly darkening Wenatchee Mountain pass from Eastern Washington down into the surrounding Seattle area, I had a tingling sensation in my body. I felt like my entire being had been relieved from years of heavy and hard.
My heart felt a new level of peace & calmly announced, “you’ve found home.”
Tears rolled down my cheeks.
There were so many emotions…although the primary one being relief.
I had wanted to feel this for so long, and for so long… I heard “Perfect timing. Faith, baby. Keep doing you. It’s coming.”
Growing up in Arizona, all of the things that embody familiarity and family exist within miles of each other.
How could I leave them?
I have commitments.
I have business partners.
I have best friends.
I’m teaching this fall.
I mentor ASU Poder students.
I can’t just.not.come.back.
I slept in a tent in my Uncle’s yard that first night.
When I woke up, my entire being was so happy that I squealed YESS and kicked my feet and arms into the air.
Joy poured from every pore.
Home, baby, home.
I decided to stay for the rest of the summer, go back in September / October to teach and then go from there.
I wrote a Craiglsit Ad for a place to live (after getting sick of searching, I decided the right opportunity would come to me) about what I was looking for in a temporary spot.
So many amazing people reached out, but the situation was not fitting right.
Over the coming two weeks, Uncle Tom and I went on adventures to secret places he’s spent the last 35 years discovering and adding to his repertoire.
Somewhere between pouring sweat, swimming in sub-alpine lakes, and having the best conversations of my life, I had an internal dialogue… “You are the architect of EVERY ASPECT of your reality, Terra Rose. How do you WANT this to go? You don’t have to go back in September. How do you want this to go with your commitments, business partners, best friends and mentees? How do you want this to feel? You decide.”
It can be so easy for our minds to convince us that somehow what’s right for our highest good isn’t right for everyone in our lives.
It’s ALWAYS right for everyone.
That’s divine law.
When it’s fully and totally in divine alignment for you, it also is for them. (Even if their human has a hard time with it, it’s ALWAYS right for their greatest growth and good.)
So, I mapped it out and made calls.
Once I decided I was staying, thing after thing started aligning — rapidly.
48 hours after making the decision to stay, and weeks of turning down place after place that didn’t feel right … a guy found my Craiglist Ad and called me.
His tenant moved out early.
He asked me what MY terms were?
“How long do you want to stay? How much do you want to pay?”
A week from him calling and asking if I wanted to see the place, I signed the lease.
I got exactly what I asked for.
In September, I will go back to Arizona to host events, see clients and pack up my storage unit to finish the move.
I will also continue to travel back to Arizona about once a month to see clients and host events.
So… the third time I knew, I moved to the Pacific Northwest.
I set out on May 27th, to FIND WILD…. and baby… I FOUND IT.
Our society is powerful at telling us that we can not trust our inner knowing.
“What if I’m wrong?”
“What if I fail?”
“What if I step out and lead with pure joy, will I look like a fool?”
“What if I move and it doesn’t work out?”
“What if I marry this person and we don’t stay together?”
What if you just follow the inner knowing and it all works out brilliantly?
What if this inner knowing is THE thing leading you into the next chapter, which will be the best chapter yet?
What if denying it means enduring less than your best life?
Darling, just don’t.
Why would you settle?
Why would you ever leave your company at millions, when it’s meant to be at trillions? Why?
Why would you leave your grandest expressions on the table when they are meant to change lives?
Why would you stay in the relationship when it’s time for both of you to move on and find your own BEST matches?
Why would you live somewhere simply because that’s where you grew up?
Silence the noise and pause.
Tune in & listen. The truth is not always convenient… but it WILL always set you free.
I love you,
P.S. For everyone who’s asked why I’m not yet married which seems to be an ever increasing question … this is the exact reason. BECAUSE, when I meet him, I WILL KNOW. And SO WILL HE. I just haven’t met him yet. I’m in no rush to settle into almost. I’m here for passionate, over-the-top, have-your-back, he-feels-like-HOME kind of love. Oh, and, I needed this summer to get real with myself about the kind of family, relationship and experience I ACTUALLY want. I was denying myself so much in my mind before I left to “Find Wild.”